Silence
by Syrum Ansebris
Summary: Day one and five of Fairy Tail Angst Week 2016. Gray and Natsu have fought together, laughed together, cried together. Now that they're not together, it's just too much to bear. Prompt 'silence' - Gray/Natsu, prompt 'past' - Natsu-centric.
1. Prompt day 1 - Silence

_I love you_.

He had been meaning to say it for far too long, too many years. They had stood together, fought together, laughed together and cried together. They had hated one another to start off with, their arguments enough to topple buildings, fists becoming well-versed with faces far too regularly. Regularly enough, in fact, that the guild had tried to separate them, keep them apart, to minimise the damage to the guild hall as much as to each other.

It hadn't worked, of course. Even back then, even when both had felt little more than a frustrated fury at seeing the other, they could not be kept apart. Did not _want_ to be kept apart. Their friendship, it seemed, had been cemented long before one had met the other. Predestined, perhaps, if either wished to believe that nonsense.

 _I love you._

They were a team, the four of them. Well, the four of them and Happy, he thought with a small, wry smile that held no mirth. Erza, the impenetrable force and moral compass. Lucy, stronger than she gave herself credit for, the heart of their group. Natsu, loyal to a fault. And Gray, with a strength of will stronger than anyone. They fought together, against insurmountable odds, somehow always managing to pull through. It happened so frequently, in fact, that they had almost started to believe that they were invincible, that it could go on like that forever. Almost.

 _I love you._

The little Exceed clung to him, face pressed into the damp fabric of his black shirt, denial still coursing through him. Happy had not spoken a word all day, and no one tried to force a reply from the usually jovial cat, watching him with sad eyes and heavy hearts as he allowed himself to be carried without complaint.

The soft pitter-patter of rain drowned out all save the rustling of leaves, intensifying with a fervour that he knew, they all knew, was not natural. Water streaked down his cheeks, both hot and cold, hair flattened against his head, water destroying the soft spikes it usually held. The hole in his chest ached more with each passing second, and he had never felt quite so alone, despair rolling off him in waves as he stared down at the little headstone.

 _I love you._

It was too small. The tiny, carved lump of marble that did not - _could_ not - portray the essence of the person beneath it. Nothing could, he knew, yet the very size of the thing spiked his anger. He wanted to break it, to shatter it into a thousand pieces, to deny that such a thing was needed. Or to replace it with something bigger, something grand, yet he knew nothing would do. Nothing would be right. Nothing, save having him back by his side, alive and well.

 _I love you._

"Why?" The rain had washed into the freshly dug dirt at his feet, soil turning to mud that splashed up his thighs as he fell to his knees. "You stupid, _stupid_ -" A sob cut him off, and he swallowed it down, eyes squeezing shut against the sting of tears that would not stop falling. Had not, it seemed, since he held the body of his friend in his arms, lifeless and limp and far too cold.

"I loved you." He sucked in a hiccuping cough, swallowing against the rising bile. "Love you. Selfish bastard, why couldn't you at least let me tell you that much? Why-" He felt Happy shift in his arms, the soft sound of sobbing reaching his ears and he held the Exceed tighter still. "Why did you have to leave? Did you think I'd be able to manage without you?" Not that he had been given much of a choice, really. No, that choice had been taken from him almost a week prior, when he had lost everything he had ever loved.

" _Hey, Natsu?"_

" _Not chickening out on me now are you, Snowflake?" Natsu grinned over at his friend-come-rival, mirth sparking in his olive eyes. Gray simply huffed out a laugh and punched his friend in the arm, not quite hard enough to bruise, sporting a grin of his own._

" _Not a chance, flame-brain. I just wanted to talk to you about something is all." He had thought he might be nervous, and perhaps he was - just a little - yet there was something about being around Natsu that put him at ease, even with something like this and he wondered why he had waited for so long._

" _Can it wait? We're missing all the good stuff!" He could say no, could ask Natsu to wait, to listen. Yet, the excitement in the dragon slayer's voice, layered into his expression, was simply too much. There was no way Gray could deny him this. Besides, he had put it off for years, another few hours wouldn't hurt._

" _Yeah." Gray replied with a chuckle. "Yeah, I guess it can." Already three paces ahead, bouncing a little in his excitement, Natsu turned to his friend with a smirk._

" _Race ya!"_

"I love you." Forehead pressed up against the cool, wet marble of the headstone placed above the body of his best friend, the only thing truly holding him upright, Gray wept openly, body shaking as sobs wracked his pale form. "Natsu, I need you to come back, I can't-"

The only reply, was silence.


	2. Prompt day 5 - Past

The ground below was firm at his back, yet softer than it perhaps should have been, any chill having been chased away long since by the gentle rays of the mid-afternoon sun. A warm breeze passed overhead, rustling the leaves within the trees above, pink petals - a shade lighter than his hair - blown free by the gentle gust and fluttering down to lay upon the roots and grass below. Spring was in full bloom, the trees heavy with flowers, and he almost felt bad for not being able to fully appreciate the beauty of it.

He felt lost. Lost, yet somehow precisely where he was supposed to be, as though he had arrived early to the party and everyone else was still missing.

"Were you waiting for someone?" He hadn't heard her approach, yet when Natsu glanced over to his left, he found that he was no longer alone. The girl was certainly on the short side, perhaps only reaching Natsu's chest were he to stand to greet her. Her long blonde hair rippled slightly as the wind combed through the delicate strands, and he pondered for a moment on the flowing pink dress that matched the blossoms overhead.

"I don't know." He finally replied, the girl's smile stretching as he glanced away from her, attention returning to the endless blue sky and waving branches of the trees. "Maybe."

"Do you mind if I wait with you for a while, then?" It didn't look as though she was looking for a response, or had decided herself what his reply would be, seating herself beside Natsu and pulling her knees to her chest, bare feet resting on the hem of her dress. They sat for a while in a companionable silence, Natsu watching the occasional wisps of white cloud pass by overhead while she stared at something in the middle distance.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" It did not feel like breaking the silence, as much as simply stating a question they both knew was inevitable. The familiarity was almost like an itch, and Natsu wasn't certain quite where to scratch, yet it bothered him regardless.

"I don't know." The girl replied, turning to look at him. "Do you?" He thought for a long time on that, memories filtering and falling away, as grains of sand in his palm. Those few he could still grasp, he kept hold of as tightly as possible, yet even as he did so, too many others slipped away.

"I'm not sure." He finally conceded, mind conjuring another blonde head and broad smile, a different girl, warmth spreading throughout his chest at the not-quite memory. A key, and he wasn't certain what that meant, not for the moment at least. "What's your name?"

"Mavis." She replied, plucking at a blade of grass by her feet, seemingly completely at ease speaking with a stranger so openly. But then again, so was he, and Natsu supposed Mavis likely felt the same sense of familiarity that he did. "And you're Natsu."

"You know me." It wasn't a question, yet she answered anyway, with a brisk nod of her head and another twinkling smile that was perhaps too knowing.

"Yes." She seemed to be pondering her next question, and Natsu was in no hurry, shifting slightly to pillow his hands behind his head. "How long do you think you'll wait?"

"Until I know what I'm waiting for." Natsu replied, with a certainty that he was surprised to feel. "Are you going to wait with me?"

"For a time." Mavis nodded, and Natsu wondered why he could not hear any birdsong. He must have voiced his thoughts aloud, as her smile dropped and a deep sadness filled her gaze, triggering a pang of regret from within his chest. "There are no birds here." He almost tried to reach out to her, to offer comfort that he did not truly understand, and found himself missing the melodic twittering all the more.

"I think I'm waiting for my friends." He finally decided, and the thought did not feel wrong. Long red hair, silken to the touch and yet never tangled even in the heat of battle. She had punched him, once, for trying to touch it. A deadly fairy who seemed almost impossible, and he wondered if she might have been a figment of his imagination. Yet there, too, was the same familiarity, and the word _nakama_ stuck out in his mind, though he could not fathom what it meant.

"Yes, I think you might be right. They'll come, I'm sure of it." She sounded sure, and Natsu knew she spoke the truth. He let his lips twist up into a smile, the first in longer than he dared to remember, and it felt so foreign on his face.

"I hope so." Natsu hummed, shutting his eyes against the warm glare of sunlight. "I miss them." Dark hair, spikes softer than his own, with deep blue eyes and a wicked grin. Soft lips, gentle fingers that could form a fist too easily, fighting and loving in a single breath. Ice against his skin, and a fire burning so deeply within his heart that it might never go out. Someone special, someone important, and Natsu could not even remember his name.

"They miss you too." When he opened his eyes again, she was gone, and Natsu lay upon the grass and waited.


End file.
